EU individual paragraph

Brainstorming:

• what topic was news to me?
• European Year of Citizens: individuals in the center, make EU less complex
• since 1983: every year different topic
• funding, laws have been amended

Original Paragraph:

Aspect of the EU that interests me from this week’s class

While most of the terms that were raised in class seemed familiar to me, I have never heard of the “European Year” before.  In class we found out that 2013 is the “European Year of Citizens” but I still did not know what this means. After doing some research on the Internet later at home, I came across an interesting article on the European Year and its purpose. Every year since 1983 the EU calls attention to a certain topic in order to raise awareness and make people ponder. In previous years, various projects in connection with the European Year have been financially supported by the EU and in some cases laws have been amended. Especially this year’s theme, celebrating the 20^th anniversary of the Maastricht Treaty, is interesting for all of us as it is the “European Year of Citizens”, which means that the main focus is on how the EU affects the lives of us individuals.  The goals of this year will be to make the EU look less complicated and gigantic as well as to point out the advantages of being a part of it.  


Feedback I:  

In general, the people in my group mentioned that some parts of my text seem to be unnecessary and a bit long-winded (e.g. I don’t have to point out whereI did my research on the Internet). Also one of the sentences seems to be a bit too long and can be shortened easily in order to make it easier for readers to understand what I want to express. Another improvement would be to subisdise the phrase "what this means" with "what this meant" or even only with "what this was" as it would be better to use the past tense.

Regarding to the topic sentence, Laura, Tiana and Harald were pleased with it as they thought it is a good idea to begin with a personal experience and then get further into it. 

Version 2: 

Aspect of the EU that interests me from this week’s class

While most of the terms that were raised in class seemed familiar to me, I have never heard of the “European Year” before.  In class we found out that 2013 is the “European Year of Citizens” but I still did not know what this was. After doing some research on the Internet, I came across an interesting article on the European Year and its purpose. Every year since 1983 the EU calls attention to a certain topic in order to raise awareness and make people ponder. In previous years, various projects in connection with the European Year have been financially supported by the EU and in some cases laws have been amended. Especially this year’s theme, celebrating the 20^th anniversary of the Maastricht Treaty, is interesting for all of us as it is the “European Year of Citizens”. This means that the main focus is on how the EU affects the lives of us individuals.  The goals of this year will be to make the EU look less complicated and gigantic as well as to point out the advantages of being a part of it. 

Feedback 2:
The people reading my paragraph seemed to be pleased with my work. Since I described my own experiences and how I found out more about the European Year I did not use a lot of high-register vocabulary but the others thought it is fine like this. However, what I definitely need to correct is the "especially" as it should not be at the beginning of a sentence. Also making a stronger connection between the 5^th and the 6^th sentence will improve my paragraph as the theme-rheme-structure is not obvious.

Final Version: 

Aspect of the EU that interests me from this week’s class

While most of the terms that were raised in class seemed familiar to me, I have never heard of the “European Year” before.  In class we found out that 2013 is the “European Year of Citizens” but I still did not know what this was. After doing some research on the Internet, I came across an interesting article on the European Year and its purpose. Every year since 1983 the EU calls attention to a certain topic in order to raise awareness and make people ponder. In previous years, various projects in connection with the European Year’s theme have been financially supported by the EU and in some cases laws have been amended. This year’s theme, celebrating the 20^th anniversary of the Maastricht Treaty, is particularly important for all of us as it is the “European Year of Citizens”. This means that the main focus is on how the EU affects the lives of us individuals.  The further goals of this year will be to make the EU look less complicated and gigantic as well as to point out the advantages of being a part of it. 

Possible Topics for an Academic Paper

· 1.) Roma in the EU – A comparison between Belgium and France

Many European countries have problems with integrating Roma. While most countries deport them, Belgium sets a good example and offers Roma families cheap flats and their children free tuition. Also in France the “Roma issue” is of topical interest since every year thousands of Roma are expelled from the country. This has also caused a conflict between the EU and France as it is seen as an inhumane act and violates the human rights.

    2.) Women’s rights in the EU – Why do some countries allow women to wear a headscarf and some don’t?

 I’m sure you’ve all heard of the strict headscarf ban in French schools and public and other public institutions. However, in some other countries, like Great Britain, Muslim women are allowed to wear a veil at court. In my academic paper I’d like to write more about why different countries decide to ban headscarves and veils in public institutions and whether the EU can influence on this decision or not.

3.) Trade and import of live animals

As all the European countries are economically connected, they trade among themselves. One of these “goods” are often live animals, which have to endure a long and demanding journey, cooped up without any water or feed in trucks before they reach their final destination where they are slaughtered. I’ve always been interested in animal rights since I’m a rather health-conscious person and always want to know where my “Schnitzel” comes from.

4.) Development aid

The EU is one of the biggest and powerful organizations world-wide. With its power and money, the EU helps other countries in the Third World. However, the European development aid has also sparked off criticism as it is seen as inefficient and too slow. Some critics also claim that the EU only helps other countries in order to grow rich on it (for example buying the fishing rights of a country in Africa and overfishing its seas, lakes and rivers).

5.) The European Commission of Education and Culture and the Bologna Process

Another possible topic for my academic paper could be the European Commission of Education and Culture and how it influences our life at university. I’d like to concentrate myself especially on the Bologna Process and how it has changed Austrian universities.